Deep Throat

Today's Vanity Fair revealed a senior FBI agent to have been Deep Throat. The Tri Lateral Commission office pool was up to fifty five million, three hundred thousand, six hundred and seventy two dollars and fifty three cents and had to be divided between Prince Bandar, Barbara Bush and C. Boyden Gray. How those guys were able to figure out the truth, I'll never know.

The next biggest pool has everyone guessing the location of Osama Bin Laden. Between you and me, I suspect he might be hanging around the gym, having been surgically altered to resemble Magic Johnson.

Other than that, French president Jacques Chirac threw a hissy fit after finding out his own country wouldn't ratify the EU constitution. He had been hoping to field an EU basketball team in the gym tournament, but that's all shot to you know what. The by-laws state, no basketball team without a constitution. Ever the optimist, he promptly fired his prime minister, replacing him with Dominique de Villepin, a well known point guard and surveillance specialist. They spent all afternoon hunkered down in the steam room with a bunch of private contractors. I have a feeling that next time this constitution business comes up, they'll be ready with the same Diebold machines that helped out the American president, then watch out Tri Lateral Tigers.

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