The Terrorist

When it comes right down to it, the biggest terrorist is God. Just look what He's done to New Orleans, and all without resorting to bombs, biological warfare or troop deployment.

Today, everything has changed in the Tri-Lateral Commission Gym. Members just sit around in the weight room, their souls to weak to raise the bars. There is no music in the aerboics gym. The televisions on the treadmills are showing only snow. When one perky journalist announced "Well, it could have been worse", three burly Heritage Foundation representatives heaved her out the door.

Coursing through the minds of everyone present are two unspoken but dreaded words, "Public works". For all those riding the exercycles of power, heedless of actually having to do much besides make lots of money, these words smack of socialism and charity and welfare. This is because New Orleans no longer exists, and its citizens are jobless, homeless, and if not already broke, shortly to become so, and with no one to sue but God, who may be mighty but has no tangible assets. It is nigh impossible for our members to ignore such enormous suffering, try as they might. And besides, the hoi polloi won't let them, at least not on such a monstrous scale.

I think in a few days, when the words "Public Works" transform themselves into the words "Contractors", our membership will slowly start to be uplifted. The preachers are already mumbling about faith based charity. Perhaps God is not a terrorist after all, that He has in fact opened up whole new markets, with money to be made. Our membership by and large is very enterprising.

I can only hope that soon the clatter of exercycle pedals will once again fill the gym.